Impostor Syndrome Can Really Mess With You
I know I go on a lot about putting yourself out there, letting your light shine, etc. But do you ever feel like you really don’t know what you’re doing? That you aren’t good enough to be a thought leader, speaker, or author on the subject of your passion? Here’s a secret—almost everyone gets that feeling at some point. It’s called impostor syndrome, and you’ve probably heard of it.
Why Does it Get to Us?
Impostor syndrome is just a fancy name for a particular kind of self-doubt. It can happen for a variety of reasons. But usually when you begin to earn success. Not surprisingly, though plenty of men experience it, women of color are more likely to experience impostor syndrome. This comes from feeling like you don’t fit in. Which can also happen when you’re new in your field, or just starting to build your brand. I personally think it can happen when we compare ourselves to others. When we don’t know the work or effort that someone puts in, it can seem like they are naturally just being who they are, from the outside. And strangely, the hard work we put in often gets interpreted as sheer luck in our own minds.
Impostor Syndrome and Success
So, you may be thinking that people that are really successful haven’t experienced impostor syndrome. They seem so confident, right? How did they become successful if they experienced this kind of self-doubt? That’s the sneaky thing about it. It’s just a trick your brain is playing on you. But the thing is, up to 70% of people experience impostor syndrome according to Wikipedia.
People as successful, talented, and seemingly genius as David Bowie, Serena Williams and Sheryl Sandberg have experienced impostor syndrome. Doesn’t that make you feel better?
I know I’ve experienced it, and sometimes still do. I wrote about that first speaking gig I had and the sense of self-doubt I felt. I thought for sure people would see me as a fraud and I’d make a fool of myself. But you know what? I did it. I survived. And the gig was a success! Everyone remarked at how confident I seemed.
Just this past weekend I co-hosted an entire day of programming for the San Diego Writers Festival (you can check it out here). You bet I was nervous! I still get butterflies before every gig and feel the pressure rising—but I do it anyway. I know how far I can push myself and believe me when I tell you that I am constantly pushing myself past the threshold of my comfort zone. And because of that, I am always getting just a little better at what I do.
How Do We Prevent It?
I know one thing that helped me, or at least opened my eyes a bit, was realizing other people had experienced impostor syndrome too. And talking about that feeling. It felt good to admit it. I’ve talked about it with several guests on The Premise podcast. The Harvard Business Review even has some tips on how to beat it. On that list they suggest talking about your feelings. It works!
They also have some other great tips. One is recognizing the feeling of impostor syndrome so you can catch it when it starts. Of course, being kind to yourself helps too. Forgive your own mistakes as easily as you may forgive someone else’s. One of my favorite suggestions they offered is recognizing you can’t know everything, and you’ll learn more as you go along. And I think you should remind yourself of that when you’re feeling yourself pushed out of your comfort zone and out of your league!
Ultimately, I think that it’s important to remember that your voice does matter. Marni Freedman, my friend and co-founder of the San Diego Writers Festival and I are fond of reminding people of this. Your voice is unique to you, and it doesn’t mean you are less significant. We all have self-doubt. You’re not alone.
